New Orleans Star Trek: The Final Frontier

Don’t worry, I’m not going to nerd out in today’s installment.  I like Star Trek but it’s not like I have a lot of trivia memorized.  I’ll be looking up all of today’s links as I go along.  I don’t dress up like Capt. Picard.  I probably know as much about Star Trek, the television show, as any casual viewer. What do I know about New Orleans Star Trek, though?  Oh, I know plenty.  If you think of New Orleans as being set in a mirror Star Trek universe, well, La Belle Esplanade is NCC-1701-E, the Starship Enterprise, commanded by Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (that’s me).

Here’s a clip from an episode that took place on the planet Harrison IV (see that pun I made there?) in the Wisner Quadrant:



Yeah, that’s New Orleans Star Trek for you.  It’s amazing we don’t have more subscribers to La Belle Esplanade’s YouTube channel.

Harrison Avenue is the street that runs through City Park that I take to get to the parts of the park where I walk our dog.

In all seriousness, though, I was talking to my Number One (Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation) about who Jill at The Chimes Bed and Breakfast would be if we were in New Orleans Star Trek.  “Oh, that’s easy,” Frau Schmitt replied.  “Jill is Captain Janeway.”  Yup.  Right on the money.

I asked Frau Schmitt who Kelly, from The Lookout Inn would be in New Orleans Star Trek.  “Oh, Major Kira Nerys on Deep Space Nine,” she said.  While I see the similarity (aside from the nose), I don’t know about that, based on this quote from Major Kira: “Fighting hit and run, always outgunned, living on nothing but hate and adrenaline. It’s not much of a life and it eats away at you so that every day a little part of you dies.”  Kelly is pretty tough, though.  I wouldn’t want to wrestle her.

In this parallel New Orleans Star Trek universe which I’ve inflicted on us for today’s post, you may ask— who is Frau Schmitt?  I referred to her above as my Number One, but that’s because she’s the better half of this operation, the executive officer.  There is nothing masculine or Riker-like about Frau Schmitt.  She’s as empathetic as Counselor Troi and as mysterious and capable as Seven of Nine.

I’m not going to beat this comparison into the ground about which parts of New Orleans are the Gamma Quadrant and which are the Alpha, and who’s a Ferengi.  If you are a science fiction buff, rest assured that Frau Schmitt and your humble narrator are at least partially fluent in your language.

We both speak English.  Frau Schmitt speaks German, her native tongue, and she speaks a bit of French, too.  Me?  I limit myself to English most of the time—-but I’ve been known to speak KLINGON!!!

New Orleans Star Trek
“MajQa’ Chu’ Orleans!” as we say in Klingon. Welcome to New Orleans.


You never know what you’ll find in New Orleans.  You never know what you’ll find on Esplanade Avenue.  If you are looking to get off the usual tourist radar, consider La Belle Esplanade.  Ours is a hotel like no other you’ve ever stayed at.  Make La Belle Esplanade your HQ while you are in New Orleans.  You won’t be disappointed.  You’ll leave enchanted and full of good New Orleans memories.

À votre santé,

La Belle Esplanade

Sunday, October 8, 2017:  We were supposed to have a hurricane sweep through the city last night and this morning.  Nothing happened.  It’s been cloudless and pleasant the way it usually is in this parallel universe we call home.

[Full disclosure: I only speak Klingon in my dreams.]