X Rated Things To Do In New Orleans

Get your mind out of the gutter.  I’m speaking latin here.  X rated things to do in New Orleans should be read as 10 rated things to do in New Orleans.  Who’s doing the rating?  You’re humble narrator, of course.  What else did you expect?

Today, we’ll be covering X rated things to do in New Orleans City Park.

While there are more than ten things to do in City Park, I didn’t include things that you probably aren’t going to do like play frisbee golf, go horseback riding, play tennis, or catch a New Orleans Jesters game. You can do a lot more than what I list here in the park, itself, but I expended the terrain to include about a half mile radius of the part of City Park that you are most likely to visit.  I’m not counting things up in Lakeview, where the farther edge of the furthest golf course is bounded by Robert E. Lee Boulevard.  New Orleans City Park is lager than New York CIty’s Central Park, and I’ll be that if you’ve been to Central Park, you didn’t get around to see everything in that either.

I’m also not going to talk about things you can find on Esplanade Avenue.  If I did that we’d be talking about XXX things to do in New Orleans.  Well, probably more like LXX things or C things.  Let’s leave Esplanade Avenue for another day.  I think this “X rated things to do in New Orleans” is going to be search engine gold for us as an ongoing series.

So, without further ado, X rated things to do in New Orleans City Park (and nearby City Park, too):

I. Visit the New Orleans Museum of Art (NOMA).  Really, it’s worth it.  They just put up a new show and I have to agree with Ericka and Louis that it’s quite thought provoking (though I’m not on board with Louis’ appreciation of the toy horse).

II. If you’re gonna go to the art museum, you should also visit the Besthoff Sculpture Garden, which really is world class.

III. More gardens: Take a stroll through the New Orleans Botanical Garden.  All of these things are right next to each other.  It’s not like you have to go out of your way for anything.  Which leads us to:

IV.  Morning Call:   for your beignets and café au last.  I know your friends told you to go to Café du Monde.  Trust me.  Morning call is nicer and much less crowded (and cleaner).  Open 24 hours.

V.  As long as we’re talking about City Park, take the time to stroll the lagoons, feed the ducks, and go to Goldfish Island.  City Park is a gem of a place.  Frau Schmitt and I go there once or twice a day to take our exercise (and, really, to walk the dog).

VI.  There’s a big lake in City Park that goes by the imaginative moniker, “Big Lake.”  On the other side of Big Lake from City Park’s entrance is Wheel Fun Rentals. .  You can rent a surrey or a kayak, but I would just rent a bicycle to expand your range and explore a bit more of New Orleans.  Heck, in about 15 minutes on a bicycle you can be at Lake Ponchartrain by the Old Spanish Fort, by taking the trail along Bayou St. John.

VII:  Head across the street from the side entrance to City Park and have a 10-cent martini lunch at  Ralph’s-on-the-Park.  There are a lot of business people and socialites there for lunch but don’t worry, you’ll fit right in.

VIII:  Walk a little further up City Park Avenue from Ralph’s and you can have a hamburger at Bud’s Broiler, a 24-hour hamburger stand.  I recommend ordering a #2 or #9, both with onions, of course.

IX:  Go behind Bud’s Broiler to to hang out with the locals at Second Line Brewing and enjoy a pint of Batture Blonde Ale.

X:  As long as we’re in the neighborhood of Bud’s Broiler and Second Line Brewing, let’s end this list with MoPho, a New Orleans take on Vietnamese food.  The restaurant has an informal neighborhood vibe and the food is like nothing you’ve had before: “Southeast Asia by way of New Orleans.”

And there you have it folks, X rated things to do in New Orleans.  There are more.  In fact, my original list has XXIII things on it, so I can keep this up for another installment—just around City Park.

Who says there’s nothing going on in this part of New Orleans?  Things are happening all the time, it’s just that these things are off the usual tourist radar.  We like it that way.  If you are interested in investigating the real New Orleans, that’s the part where we live.  Stay at La Belle Esplanade.  Good memories are made on our street.

À votre santé,

La Belle Esplanade

where every morning starts with a curated breakfast salon.

Thursday, July 20, 2017:  The internet has been a little bit wonky the past couple of days.  The cable company is coming by again (third day in a row) to fix it.  Like everything in New Orleans, you take things as they come and no one is in a rush.  It makes life happier that way