Your New Orleans Star Trek Hotel

New Orleans: the final frontier.  These are the adventures of La Belle Esplanade.  Its continuing mission: to explore strange New Orleans situations.  To seek out new experiences to share with our guests.  To boldly go where no other small hotel has gone before.  Welcome to your New Orleans Star Trek Hotel.

 

Frau Schmitt and I have watched every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.  It has taken us about three years.  Actually, Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation, has watched every episode.  I usually fall asleep in the middle, right when things start to get really interesting.

Why have we watched every episode?  To prepare ourselves to be the #1 New Orleans Star Trek Hotel, that’s why.  Someone had to do it.  There is a niche that demands to be filled.  New Orleans abhors a vacuum.

Your New Orleans Star Trek Hotel
Your #1 place to stay in the United Federation of Planets!

Really, though, it’s because we don’t have a television and I had fond memories of TNG (if I may be excused for abbreviating like a geek—that stands for The Next Generation).

Frau Schmitt being sensible and practical, and German, never got swept up in the Star Trek phenomenon, so it was all new to her when I purchased the complete series on DVD.  It’s sorta like Rachel Watches Star Trek except that Frau Schmitt and I don’t have a podcast (yet).

New Orleans #1 Star Trek Hotel.
Where the Klingon High Council likes to stay when they visit New Orleans.

 

#1 NEW ORLEANS STAR TREK HOTEL IN THE KLINGON EMPIRE.

Ready?  I’m about to nerd out on you the way I did on November 28, 2017, when I told you La Belle Esplanade is the #1 place to stay on Jasoom.

New Orleans is located in the Alpha Quadrant.  It’s the earth-based equivalent of Risa.  You won’t need to book a holo-suite to get swept up in a New Orleans state of mind.  Just walk out our front door.  Our tiny personalized hotel is in a very interesting neighborhood.

If you read our TripAdvisor review that was written in Klingon, you’ll learn that: “matthew melanie ‘ej SuvwI’ pov Duypu’ veng.”

Now that I’ve just alienated all but the most hardcore Star Trek fans who have read this far, let’s get real…

Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation, the way that Rachel is the better half of “Rachel Watches Star Trek,” had a conversation with me recently.  I’ll let you figure out who is who in this clip:

 

EVEN IF YOU DON’T REALLY DIG STAR TREK, YOU’LL FALL IN LOVE WITH OUR QUIRKY PERSONALIZED HOTEL WHICH, ASIDE FROM THE FLAGS OUT FRONT, DOESN’T CONTAIN ANY STAR TREK MEMORABILIA.

Despite what you may think after reading all this, we are not all Star Trek all the time.  In fact, since I’ve only seen half of the episodes we’ve watched, I have to admit that I’m no expert.

I do know that Capt. Benjamin Sisko comes from New Orleans.  His great grandmother grew up in our house before it became a hotel.  Her room was our Les Pêches Suite.

La Belle Esplanade is a hotel unlike any other you have ever stayed in.  Come see for yourself.  Make a reservation today.  We are not located in the French Quarter.  Instead, we are located close by, in a unique authentic New Orleans neighborhood that has plenty going on in it, off the usual tourist radar.  Welcome to the real New Orleans.

We look forward to meeting you.

Have a great New Orleans day, wherever you happen to find yourself.

May the Force be with you,

La Belle Esplanade

…ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans and in Louisiana, the #3 inn in the U.S., the #17 place to stay in the whole world.

Saturday, March 31, 2018:. Melanie was out of town this afternoon so I had lunch alone, alas, at Toups’ Meatery on N. Carrolton Avenue.  It was delicious.  Ask me about it when you are here.  It’s just a short, picturesque stroll from our address.

Happy Easter!

Proprietor of your New Orleans Star Trek Hotel
Your humble narrator!