Big Easy Opportunities.

Oh, every day is plump with opportunities.  You have to know when to take them.  If there aren’t any, you can make them.  You can make them or you can break them.

I am entranced by this strange, lush dream of a day.  Let me tell you what is happening.  Good memories are made of this.

I had a dinner like a dream last night.  It was with Frau Schmitt.

If anyone belongs on a pedestal in my pantheon, it is Frau Schmitt.  She is the better half of this operation.  I cannot imagine New Orleans without her.  It’s not just me.  A whole lot of other people I talk to likewise feel the the same way.  She is the nicest person you will ever meet.  Opposites attract the way satisfaction brought the curious cat back from the dead, if you know what I mean.

I showed Raven a photo I took of Frau Schmitt at dinner.  Frau Schmitt dislikes having her photo taken.  What did I tell you?  I told you opposites attract.

I turned on the charm and I told Frau Schmitt that she looked so beautiful in the light that she consented to a candid snapshot.  Whaddaya know?  Frau Schmitt was beautiful in my eyes.  Again, I am not the only one.  Frau Schmitt is not going to be happy that I have posted this photo on the internet.

Raven said, “It looks like you guys were at Olive Garden.”

I told Raven we were at Crescent City Steaks.  She had no idea what or where I am talking about.  She’s from the West Bank, not that there is anything wrong with that.  We are all New Orleanians, in this together.  It has nothing to do with COVID.  We are all New Orleanians, each in his or her own way.  We are all God’s children.

Raven wrinkled her nose and cocked her hips.  “Oh! Faaaaannnnnccccy,” she said as she poked her left pinky into her left dimple.  Few things are prettier than a dimpled smile.  I’m sure Tulane University is conducting a study.

Raven and I had a long conversation about the difference between fancy and normal.  What is normal on the East Bank is fancy on the West Bank.  What is normal on the West Bank is exotic and strange to people on the East Bank.  We re all New Orleanians.  We are all in this together.  This is why we live here.  This is why everyone in New Orleans is a friend you’ve just  met.  Hello.

A woman never forgets a man who remembers.  I am notorious for wool gathering, as these essays often demonstrate.  There are so many details to savor and enjoy every single beautiful New Orleans day.  It would be a shame to neglect the opportunity to savor them.  I know.  I live here.  When you visit New Orleans you know where you should stay.

I had dinner with Frau Schmitt at Crescent City Steaks.  She was the prettiest thing in the room, your humble narrator included.

No one ever notices me, wallflower that I am.

I blame Andy Carpenter for bringing it up.  I’ve been saying that I was having a hankering for Crescent City Steaks for about a month and a half.  Then, Andy and Rob, if you know who I mean, they went to Crescent City Steaks and were all bragging about it like it was something special.  I couldn’t begrudge them that.  Every meal at Crescent City Steaks is something special.  You know I love old-school.

Andy and Rob’s delicious description reminded Frau Schmitt that I have been wanting to go to Crescent City Steaks so she reminded me.  My hankering became overwhelming.  That’s how we ended up at Crescent City Steaks on this particular night.  Love was in the air.

In this raggedy and threadbare rattle bag of a city, it is always nice to spend time with an ingenue.

Some kind of bush is always in bloom somewhere in New Orleans in every season.  I am looking at the parking lot behind Office Depot as I write this and the hedge here, in beautiful Mid-City, has pink blossoms.  Only in January.  It’s a Mardi Gras thing.  That hedge is barren in summer.

There aren’t any tourists in summer.  It’s too hot and too humid for most people.  I think it’s the best time to visit.  There aren’t any lines.  You never have to make a reservation for anything.  There is plenty of room and you can really enjoy the city at its own scale without a bunch of yahoos.  Look, I love ya, gentle reader, but 19.5 million of you a year can wear on a fella’s nerves.  It’s nice to get a break.  That’s when you should be here.

None of this has anything to do with Frau Schmitt except to say that it is in summer when she and I go to the French Quarter.  Summer in New Orleans is like having the city to yourselves.  It is intimate.  When you are with the one you love, you love where you live.  Home is where the heart is.

It’s time to to introduce some comic relief.

Raven and I had a long conversation about the difference between normal and abnormal.  I pointed out that her definition of abnormal would make me abnormal, not that I mind being called that, per se.  Raven said, “You’re not abnormal, Mr. King!  You’re faaaaannnnnccccy!”  There we go again.

Every day in New Orleans is a parable, a parade of whimsy and wonder.  I feel like I am the luckiest person in the world.  When you visit New Orleans you should visit like you live here.  It will mean more that way.  You are on the right website.  You know where to stay.  This is your opportunity.  You can take it, you can make it, or, you can break it.  Visit New Orleans like you mean it.

With a tip of my fedora in your direction, mes amis,

-Your humble narrator.