Your humble narrator.

Ask the Guy With the Monocle.

I purchased a new monocle recently.  It is made of faux tortoise shell, so it is thicker than my wire monocles, hence, it is more noticeable.  That’s it’s downside.  I like to blend into the background.  Mr. Wallflower.  I will say that, because the parts are thicker, this new monocle is really comfortable.  It feels like I took a nap with a cucumber slice over that eye.

The downside of standing out in a crowd is that people want to talk to you.  This is not a bad thing in and of itself, of course, but, if you have ever stood out in a crowd because you’re the guy wearing a monocle, then you know that people want to talk to you because they think you are the smartest person in the room.  A monocle trumps a bow tie, coke bottle glasses, high-water pants, and Albert Einstein hair.  I’ve seen it happen too many times.  “Ask the guy with the monocle.”

It is a self-inflicted wound.

It is a sharp-looking monocle, though, you have to admit.

Your humble narrator.
Your humble narrator.

It is cold today, January 20th.  It is cold and raw, that damp cold that only happens in a swamp that has sunk below sea level.  I’ll never get used to it.  We all have to be miserable somewhere.  I’ll take New Orleans.  It’s got what I like.

You’re the type who will like it, too.  I’ve seen your type before.  That’s what the monocle is for.  The difference between the best and the rest is only a matter of degree.  La Belle Esplanade.

When you choose wisely, you don’t have to be careful what you wish for.  Everything always works out alright.  I see it happen every day.  Good memories are made on our street.  Good stories get started over breakfast at La Belle Esplanade.  I see it happen every day.  You should see for yourself.  You are on the right website.

Ask the guy in the monocle if this is seasonable weather in New Orleans and he’ll tell you what he knows.  The temperature goes up and down and up and down in New Orleans in winter.  It is impossible to get used to it.  It will be warmer tomorrow, and warmer still, the day after that.  It will get warmer until the temperature precipitously drops and the process starts over and over every few days until springtime.  Then, it will get progressively hotter until it gets oppressively hot.  That’s summer.  I can flourish under summer’s humid tyranny better than I can under the capricious whims of winter.

Depending on where you are from, winter in New Orleans will feel like springtime to you.  Doubly so if you are from Canada.