Your New Orleans Horoscope
With a new year comes a new horoscope. Wanna know your New Orleans horoscope? Read on. We haunted Jackson Square at 3:00AM the past few days to talk to the real, authentic astrologers, palm readers, and card readers. One lady even had a crystal ball. She said I was going to make good New Orleans memories every day this upcoming year.
I think she’s right.
YOUR NEW ORLEANS HOROSCOPE EXPLAINED.
There was some methodology at play here. Over the past week, I set my alarm and went down to Jackson Square at 3:00 in the morning, when the real fortune-tellers are out. I got a prognostication from each of them, one a night, and as the week progressed I got to be friendly with quite a few of them. Not that I’ll be going down to Jackson Square at 3:00 in the morning again any time soon. I need my beauty rest.
I tallied the responses to my questions and tabulated the charts and notes each of the professionals and I collated the results into the 2020 New Orleans horoscope that follows. None of what follows is my opinion. I used scientific methodology like an economist would.
YOUR NEW ORLEANS HOROSCOPE REVEALED!
If you were born in January and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) You definitely have to have to have visit the French Quarter.
b.) When you are done with that, you definitely have to go listen to music on Frenchmen Street.
c.) You will dance. Trust me. You will at least tap your foot.
d.) If you want to get off the typical tourist radar, you will stay at La Belle Esplanade.
If you were born in Februrary and you Visit New Orleans this year:
a.). You will remember what it was like to be young, or, if you are young, you will be even happier to be alive.
b.) You will meet a mysterious stranger who will tell you things about New Orleans that you never knew existed.
c.) You will stay at La Belle Esplanade, the #1 small hotel in New Orleans according to TripAdvisor since April 2014.
If you were born in March and you Visit New Orleans this year:
a.). The weather will be nice when you are here.
b.) There will be more things going on every day than what is going on where you live.
c.) You will stay at La Belle Esplanade in March. You should get off the usual tourist grid to explore the real city.
If you were born in April and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) You will stumble into a festival, whether you know it is going on or not.
b.) There will be music everywhere. Everywhere. It will be in the French Quarter. It will be on Frenchmen Street. It will be in our neighborhood. Every day will be a parade.
c.) You will stay at La Belle Esplanade if you want to feel New Orleans’ authentic pulse. Visit like you belong here.
If you were born in May and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) The smell of the air will be full of flowers.
b.) You will get lucky.
c.) You will stay at La Belle Esplanade if you’re smart.
If you were born in June and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) Your New Orleans horoscope will come true.
b.) You are gonna have a good time. Visit New Orleans like you belong here. You do belong here.
c.) You should stay at La Belle Esplanade. If you do, your New Orleans horoscope will come true. The best New Orleans memories begin every morning at La Belle Esplande.
If you were born in July and you Visit New Orleans this year:
a.) You will fall in love with a magical city that doesn’t know the meaning of despair for long.
b.) You will hear music everywhere you go. It will make you happy.
c.) You will stay at La Belle Esplanade, the #2 small bed&breakfast hotel in the United States, according to TripAdvisor.
If you were born in August and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) Your complexion will clear up. The humidity does that, here.
b.) You will wish you stayed for longer. Nobody ever says their visit to New Orleans is too long.
c.) You will figure out that you are the right website and you’ll make a reservation today. We only have five suites so we tend to fill up early during busy seasons.
If you were born in September and you Visit New Orleans this year:
a.). You will feel right at home. You will want to move here.
b.) You will discover what food is meant to taste like—-full of flavor.
c.). You will figure out that you should stay at La Belle Esplande, the bright orange house with blue shutters on historic and picturesque Esplanade Avenue—where celebrities stay.
If you were born in October and you visit New Orelans this year:
a.). You will see a Grammy-nominated singer at Buffa’s. You’ll see one of the Marsalis family at Snug Harbor. You will listen to local jazz royalty on the street.
b.). You will eat Oysters Rockefeller in the restaurant where they were invented.
c.). You will stay at La Belle Esplanade. Centrally located, La Belle Esplanade is in the heart of Real New Orleans.
If you were born in November and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.). You will get off the typical tourist treadmill and explore the authentic parts of New Orleans like you live here.
b.) You will eat gumbo. I will tell you where to get the best gumbo in the city.
c.) You will read more blog posts like this one and then you will stay at La Belle Esplanade. Good on you!
If you were born in December and you visit New Orleans this year:
a.) You will want to move here. Everyone imagines what it would be like to live here. It’s good. You’ll see.
b.) You will be immersed in jazz, the syncopated rhythm of New Orleans is no escaping it, and, you’ll like it.
c.). You will stay at La Belle Esplanade. You should stay at La Belle Esplanade if you want this horoscope to be right!
—-This is your personal New Orleans horoscope. Now you know what awaits your future in this wonderful city we call home. Visit New Orleans like you belong here. Discover what it means to fall in love with the real New Orleans. We are two New Orleans goodwill ambassadors who are standing by to assist you make the most of your visit to New Orleans. We’re here for you. Here is a link to our calendar. With our reputation, we tend to fill up early so plan ahead and make a reservation today.